mik0:

I yell and scream not out of anger, but out of fear.

I don’t seem to see much, but feel lust, and only hear.

About what’s happening to us, but we can’t even communicate..

Now we’re hanging by a thread, and when I’m lying on my bed while its late..

it constantly run back in my mind, wow. Fuck.. how fucking great.

Like, fuck. I know I shouldn’t be feeling what I’m feeling.

I’m simple, really, but my mind is complex like the patterns up on my ceiling.

I think too much, and I hope that it doesn’t bother you.

I assume a lot, and that’s what leads us to argue.

But seriously, its not like I want to act this way..

Its just the thought of you finding better has lead me far away,

Far away from a my normal every day sane state of mind,

I’m not the best, I’m just “okay”, but damn.. THAT guy is “great”.

We as people always strive for the better, it’s only natural.

My logic is practical, and I’m just bein’ real. And I can’t seem to say how I feel because my thoughts amount up to a whiney bitch with low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem.. I think lowly of myself, it seems. I think you can do better, and often I feel you’re better than me.

That’s why I scream and I shout. Thats what my problems are about.

I’m not mad, maybe I just love you too much. If that’s even possible..

I don’t want to lose. But it seems you could choose,

Anybody in this fucking world, but what did you do?

You picked me.. and I’m doubting this’ll ever last.

I feel like a fuck up, and I blame all of this on my past.

mik0:

Slow down, I just wanna get to know you.

I’ve always wondered, what happened to getting to know a girl first before trying to “talk” to her? Guys these days seem so paranoid about being put in the “friend zone.” So they resort to trying to mack on girls, which usually just results in an epic failure. In my opinion, I’D like a girl to try to get to know me as a friend first before she tried to do anything. As long as she didn’t give off that vibe that she just wanted to be friends. Or else of course I’d just put her in the friend zone. Haha, I don’t know.

But seriously, guys should just slow their roles. Be real with them. You don’t have to rush into anything. It just seems as if they want to get in the girls pants ASAP. But honestly, there’s way more to a girl than that. I used to walk around with that mentality, to just want a girlfriend so I could do some shit like make-out with her.. Which is stupid. But over time, and after going through/realizing many things, there’s much more to having a girlfriend or that significant other than all of that.

I don’t think many guys or girls get that. Being in a relationship isn’t all about the mushy lovey dovey stuff, or sex. Nah. It’s much more than that.

What I like to do is get to know the girl first. I don’t like rushing into anything at all. It’ll just end up in a complete failure. The reason that I haven’t had many girlfriends is because I’m ridiculously picky. I hate that about me. But I feel it’s somewhat of a good thing because I guess you can say that I’m not down to just settle for anything. It’s not like I’m saying I’m too good for anyone, which I really really am not.. But I’d just like to be with someone who I actually like, y’know?

Getting to know somebody and then ending up loving so many of their features is a nice feeling. It’s like “damn, I wonder what happened if I didn’t talk to him/her..” Kinda makes you thankful afterwards. 

Not trying to sound hella cliché or anything, but It’s nice actually getting to know a girl. Then finding out you just love so many things about her. Instead of all of that “Oh I think she’s hot, I wanna get at her/spit some game.. (and hopefully get in her pants one day)” type shit. Really doesn’t make sense to me at all.

Whatever. Just some of my thoughts. That is all.

Geeze.. I don’t even remember typing this. Only a couple of months old. Always relevant.

mik0:

My family hasn’t been together for a long time. Family separation is a bitch. When everything just seems to fall apart, and everybody goes their separate ways. I don’t even remember the last time I ate a meal with my whole family at the table. These days, I just eat by myself while I entertain myself with my phone.

You can’t take that shit for granted. You can’t take family for granted, period. You never know when you’re going to lose them. Hopefully you guys don’t take that shit for granted like I did. Those of you who still have it like that. Y’all are lucky.

mik0:

You ever have one of those moments where you just think “God, we would be so perfect for each other..” When you just have so much in common. Share common goals, thoughts, taste in music, and have the same mindset? You know that you’re the “perfect type” for that other person? Then you think “Damn, we’d look cute together, too”.. Then you just go on and on in your mind with how perfect you and that person could be. You just have it all set up in your mind.

Yet, you barely know the person.. ?

Well, yeah. This happens to me kinda often…

mik0:

I remember when I was the one who waited for the girl. When I was the one that was the bestfriend, and no matter how hard I tried, I still couldn’t get her. I remember that. When I was passed up for some new guy, I would always be crushed. I would ask “Why him? I’ve been here for you all this time, yet, you pick this guy over me?” because I was so caught up in the idea of “being in-love with a girl” when in reality, it was just infatuation mixed with some lust and wishful thinking. I remember that shit, I remember each and every time I was supposed to play “bestfriend” when deep down inside, I wanted to stab each and every dude that tried getting at her. I remember that.

I don’t know why I put up with that shit. I don’t regret it at all, I just question.. why? I was so naive. I was so pathetic. I was ignorant towards those types of situations at the time, but still.. what the fuck? I didn’t have any self-pride back then. All I was about was loving her, and not myself. I wanted her, more than I wanted myself to be happy. So, I let go.

I wasn’t down for that shit anymore. She wasn’t the problem, I was. I was at fault for holding on for so long. Wishful thinking, hoping I’d finally get her to myself one day. Hoping I’d be more than just a friend, and she’d fall in-love with me like in one of those Disney Channel Original Movies. But that’s far from reality, and I wasn’t living in a TV screen. I held on, when I should have let go a long time ago.

After that, I’ve learned my lesson. I’m not going to find anybody like that. I won’t settle for being the sloppy seconds. I’ve come to realize that there and plenty of girls out there who’ll make me feel important. Make me feel on top of the world and treat me right. Plenty girls. Plenty of them. Plenty of cute, non-shallow, and real, down ass females that know how to treat others.

So to the homies that are going through things like this, never let up. You’ll get yours. Please don’t waste your time on somebody who isn’t willing to give you the time and chances that you deserve. Oh, and remember.. the good guys do prevail. It just takes a little while longer. 

mik0:

I’m not really fond of my self image. I’m a very prideful person, and I wouldn’t change who I am for anyone, but I don’t know. When I think of myself, I try to look at myself in another person’s perspective. I usually don’t end up liking what I see. It’s not that I don’t like who I am or what I stand for, but, I’m just always wishing there would be more to it. I wish I was interesting and people wanted to get to know me. I wish I had that type of personality that I admire others for having. I wish I was a much more confident and out-going person. As I grow older, I notice the changes in how I look, and how I act. I’m growing, as a person. Physically, and mentally. But… still. Maybe I just overreact when it comes to my self image. Yeah, I think that’s it.

mik0:

The day a girl opens me up completely, is the day I’ll be in complete shock. I’ve always wanted to have one of those long, intellectual conversations that just flowed into very diverse, and different topics. A deep conversation that opened up both of our minds and got us thinking about each others point of views. A conversation that could really make me think. One where we’d discuss like.. everything. Like how I vent on Tumblr. You know, how I post my thoughts? I want to be able to talk to a girl like this. I want to open up my mind and just spill everything I can to her. Let her get into my mind. Let me get into hers. Exchange thoughts, and just have a deeper connection with her. Something worth much more than the physical attraction. I dream of this. I dream of being able to open up completely, in person. Instead of through a couple of paragraphs. I want to make eye contact. I want to study her body language. I want to get into it. I don’t like to talk much, unless it’s about something that’s interesting. Fuck gossiping and talking about school. Let’s talk about life, love, people, psychology, astronomy, geology, music, hip-hop… I don’t fucking know. But let’s have a conversation that can build some mental attraction.. ‘cause at the end of the day, that’s whats going to keep me coming back for you.

Yo, I’m just wonderin’ if we can switch it up a little. Can I pick at your mind, and get lost in your eyes, for a little? Keep my mind occupied, you so complex, sort of like a riddle. I’m hopin’ there’s a little match that I can kindle. Now, riddle me this, miss. Please explain to me how- your type, and your like, with your cute little style.. is companion-less. You don’t feel the need to switch your hips when you walk, or change the way that you speak. You gotta nice head on your shoulders, and far from emotionally weak… Hmmm. Let me guess, you’re just hard to get? No man has met your standards yet, and you won’t settle for less? Huh? So ambitious, and your kisses are so rare. Every dude that you’ve crossed paths with thought “this just ain’t fair.” And I’m not even gonna lie, I’m feelin’ the same. I’m not the type to talk fancy or to try to spit game. And I’m not gonna tell you I’m the best, ‘cause I’m not like those other lames, all I’m really tryna do is switch into your lane… But theres no room, theres no opening for me. Blinkin’ lights been on for way too long, and I can’t even see. So for now, I’m steady cruisin’, ‘cause there’s no reason to speed. The previous failed to show you somethin’, and I’m willing to redeem.

mik0:

“You’re too short.”

I hate when girls make me feel like this. As if I don’t have any chance with them because I’m a short guy. What’s really irritating is, it’s usually the girls who are shorter than me.. -_- Yeah, I may be pretty short for a guy. But so what? My height isn’t equivalent to how much I love I’d show you. Seriously, what is up with the whole height thing these days? Why do 4”11 girls have to be with dudes that are super tall? Is that some type of standard for couples these days? Short couples are cute too. Geeze. Fuck you guys.

mik0:

It’s crazy how much things can change in such a small amount of time. Whether in a matter of days, months, and even a couple of years. A person you once knew can become a completely different person in one year. I’m sure we’ve all experienced something like this. With friends, or maybe even ourselves. It can be good, or it can be bad. But I guess that’s just change for ya.